Lately I’ve had to look at how genuine my trust really was. The story goes, I’ve just quit my well paying, comfy job as an IT project manager, said goodbye to my family and friends and one of the most beautiful places in the world to go to school in Sydney, Australia. And right now it feels like that that trust is just elbow deep, when it should everything. I feel as though I’ve made all these back up plans, “just in case.” Rainy day fund or backlot plan, just in case. Up to this point, aside from signing up for all of this, it feels as though I haven’t really believed in how life changing and big this could be. I haven’t truly believed in the impossible becoming possible. I look around and see all these young 20 years here at this school, and I wonder, “am I too old for this type of thing?” Will I settle in here okay and get a decent job? Will my time be spent well, and will this truly change the course of my life?
Freedom from Ourselves
Most of my life I’ve been an extremely trusting person, in my own understanding and beliefs. I’ve believed that everything will be okay if I put A and B together. I’ve trusted that my work would be sufficient and I wouldn’t be let go. When I’ve raced my bike through the streets of Vancouver I’ve trusted the wheels would stay intact and people would obey the signals and stop for me. I’ve trusted the employee preparing the salad bar at Whole Foods, one of my favorite food joints in Vancouver, has washed his hands and I won’t get ill. Our level of trust enables us to be normal and grow. Without trust in our lives we add a lot of stress and fear to everything that we do. And let’s be honest, those that are full of anxiety about all the uncertainties in life aren’t gonna be able to enjoy it all that much. But what if we trusted in something, in someone, that is unseen, powerful beyond ourselves? What if that someone wants to make our way more than we want to ourselves? To get you that job we’ve been after, win the heart and marry that special someone we’re been interested in or make a difference in our community. When I ran my first triathlon last year, I believed the training, the health of my body, and level of fitness I had achieved would be sufficient to finish the 1.5 km swim, the 80 km bike and 10 km run. I’m beginning to realize that things like that are calculated. The odds are in our favor. That’s common trust. But what if the odds are not in our favor?
Lately I’ve had to look at how deep my trust is in God. I’ve just quit my well paying, comfy job as an IT project manager, left my family and friends and one of the most beautiful places in the world to live to go to school in Sydney, Australia. And right now it feels like my trust is just elbow deep, when it should be all of me in. I feel like I’ve made all these back up plans in my mind, “just in case.” Up to this point, aside from signing up for all of this, letting go of my life and my things back home, it feels as though I haven’t really believed in the unseen. I’m realizing that I’m going to have to or I will struggle to make it here. I haven’t believed in the impossible becoming possible. I want to flourish in this College filled with extraordinary and talented people from all over the world. This is one exciting place, but I’ve got to embrace it all. As the say, “when in Rome, do as the Romans do.” So I’m doubling down on my faith that He will make a way for all things to be great.
Reversing the Trend
Most of my life I’ve been an extremely trusting person… in my own understanding and beliefs. I’ve believed that things will be okay if I put A and B together. I’ve trusted that my work would be sufficient and I wouldn’t be fired. When I’m racing my bike through the roads of Vancouver I’ve believed the wheels on the car would stay intact and people would obey the signals and stop. I’ve trusted that the guy preparing the salad bar at Whole Foods (honestly my favorite food joint in Vancouver) has washed his hands and I won’t get stomach influenza. Our level of trust enables us to be at a state of peace and grow. Without trust in our lives we add a lot of stress and fear to our situations and everything we do. I’m noticing that I still have fears about money, now that I’m here; jobless. Let’s be honest, when we’re full of anxiety about uncertainties we aren’t able to enjoy the fruits of life. But what if we trusted in something, in someone, that is unseen, powerful beyond our imaginations? What if He wants to make a way for us more than we want to ourselves? He wants to get you that job that you’ve always wanted and win the heart of that someone you admire. Here in this place I’m learning to reverse that trend where I create so much anxiety and fear that I can’t be at peace. I’m reversing that trend in my life, but it will be a daily practice until it becomes natural.
It Will Be Good
When God created the earth it says, “He saw that it was good.” Not knowing what is in our future, we often wonder, “will it be good?” It can always be. Being in an unfamiliar place, I’ve caught myself wondering this, “will this be good?” I’ve come expecting good things. I gave away my comfortable things. I quite my comfortable job. I left my comfortable city. I left comfort behind because I realized I couldn’t have accelerated growth and have all these things that essentially tied me down. Now I’m here at school, I have little in terms of possessions, but my schedule is full, the mission is great and the community is rich. I’m liking the challenge. I came here with some backups, but trusting more and more that I won’t need those. Not because things are looking up, but I’m learning to let go. I planned to have more than enough funding to get myself through the first year. Coincidence, maybe, but shortly before I arrived the stock market, with my life savings have been decimated. This will certainly make things more interesting. But I know that it will all work out. This is gonna be real good.
It’s All About the People
Our alone time is good, but I’m learning not to get too comfortable with that. I’m learning to dive back in. The water is sometimes chilly, but it’s refreshing and energizing at the same time. This is big part of the strrreeeetching here. For years I relied on the comfort of my basement suite where I’d spend endless hours working on the next idea or project. Now I can only rely on the park, cafe or library. There are people there. All of this is good. Like building muscle, and I know most of us don’t like the process, building muscle involves pain and endurance. Interestingly enough the best muscle requires a wide range of activities, such as cross training, plyometrics, biking, swimming and yoga. This builds to builds the most usable muscle. Most people think big muscle is the best, but in all truth it doesn’t last long nor does it have much practical application other than for show. Having people in our lives, and lots of them, is a good thing. They enrich our lives. I’m trusting that here and everywhere I go that every discussion, confrontation, connection and relationship will be good and benefit the course of my life.
See the Vision
A number of years ago, with a few friends, I co-founded a fitness and health group back in Vancouver called EnduroFit. We believe that with vision, focus and perseverance anyone can rise above and achieve their greatest goals and dreams. I plan to apply those same principles during my time here. I came to Hillsong College to be inspired, surrounded by people with big vision for their lives and the world, and expand the vision for my own life while learning to believe that the impossible can be made possible. Right now, not knowing when a job will happen here, how long I’ll need to live in a living room, whether I’ll get a decent flat and roommates and how three years will look like is a bit scary for someone that is used to a comfortable life. But I’m learning to trust. And through that my vision is growing as I’m being stretched and changed. I’m letting go and falling into His hands. I’ve come expecting. I’m on an uncommon pursuit, my resilience is strong and the community… oh yes, it’s good and there will be a continued great exchange. This will be an uncommon year and onwards from that, I believe. There will most certainly be some challenges, but also some remarkable and great memories to be made. And I should not fail to mention the friendships. Those types of things are priceless. No, this will be nothing short of life changing. Being away from home and family is tough, but heck, I wouldn’t be here if this wasn’t a challenge and a really big and good step forward. We’re built to face challenges, overcome and grow. That’s what life is all about. But there will always be uncertainties in all of those things. Sometimes we just won’t be able to see ahead, and that’s okay. Trust truly isn’t genuine when we know all the answers and we can see ahead. It involves an unknown element. An uncommon trust comes in the mystery.